I feel like I’m paying for crimes I didn’t commit. But I KNOW the real crimes – common deeds and actions of the everyday…and I’m tired of having my sentience eroded by their incompetence day after day. I’m sick of being aware of every aspect of every action and mode of behavior in the minds of those that surround me. It’s soul depraving…and it robs me from myself.

I step outside my door - alone. I step out into another city block of their prison, another zoo, another forsaken, artificial habitat. Another day, another night; another stage latticed and engulfed in confusion. An external world that makes me feel ill-at ease inside myself. Forcing me to examine myself under a microscope.  Fast forward, Rewind, Pause - Seeing me through their eyes. I’m trying to keep to myself. I’m trying to do the things I want to do.

Mid week I regurgitate the thoughts in my head…every night I slave my health away; serving the ungrateful, bizarre and intoxicated alike.  It astounds me how they can walk through life without a shard of responsibility stuck in their conscience, move about without feeling or any class whatsoever.  Traffic passes by and sirens moan and wail in the late hours of the night, encompassing a feeling or a wavelength that is unnerving and surreal.  It’s amazing how they can all be so passive - and myself, with my abilities and cultivated brilliance, manage to screw it all up.  They walk around as if life were a novelty key-chain lanyard purchased at a tourist shop; hanging from their pockets when it should really be hanging them by their necks.  When one place things in a pocket, they are easy to lose…attachment, the ship’s anchor; is a unifying force with the power to stay and remember.

…But no one wants to remember anything anymore.  Too many things fucked up.  Too many machines to back it up.  Why do the math if a calculator will figure out the problem?  Even the ‘artwork’ around the neighborhood has become so absorbed, filtered and processed through the toxic killing machine of industry, media and socioeconomics; everything - everything has been reduced to state of oblivion.